An 85 - yr old man went to his doctor's office for the sperm count.
The doctor gave the man jar and said - "Take a jar and bring back the semen sample tomorrow"
The next day the 85-yr old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar - which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked whar happened and the man explained
"Well, doc - "It like this" - 1st I tried with my right hand, but still nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left hand, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, 1st with the teeth in, then with her teeth out and still nothing.
We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, 1st with both hand, then an armpit and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.
The doctor was shocked - "You asked your neighbour....??????
The old man replied - "Yep and no matter what we tried, we still couldn't get the jar open"