Customer : I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong? Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right? Customer Yeah.... Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using? Customer : Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen..... Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!! ______________________________________________________________________ Tech support : What kind of computer do you have? Female customer : A white one... ______________________________________________________________________ Customer : Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. Tech support : Have you tried pushing the button? Customer : Yes, sure, it's really stuck. Tech support : That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. Customer : No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry.... ______________________________________________________________________ Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left? ______________________________________________________________________ Tech support: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello... I can't print. Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and... Male customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, damn it! ______________________________________________________________________ Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it... ______________________________________________________________________ Customer : I have problems printing in red... Tech support : Do you have a color printer? Customer : Aaaah....................thank you. ______________________________________________________________________ Tech support : What's on your monitor now, ma'am? Customer : A teddy bear my boyfriend bought fo r me in the supermarket. ______________________________________________________________________ Customer : My keyboard is not working anymore. Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer : No. I can't get behind the computer. Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer : OK Tech support: : Did the keyboard come with you? Customer : Yes Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer : Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work ______________________________________________________________________ Tech support : Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. Customer : Is that 7 in capital letters? ______________________________________________________________________ Customer : I can't get on the Internet. Tech support : Are you sure you used the right password? Customer : Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support : Can you tell me what the password was? Customer : Five stars. ______________________________________________________________________ Tech support : What anti-virus program do you use? Customer : Netscape. Tech support : That's not an anti-virus program. Customer : Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. ______________________________________________________________________ Customer : I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears. ______________________________________________________________________ Tech support : How may I help you? Customer : I'm writing my first e-mail. Tech support : OK, and what seems to be the problem? Customer : Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
A woman customer called the IBM help desk with a problem with her IBM Infoprint printer.
Tech support : Are you running it under windows? Customer : "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine." ______________________________________________________________________ Tech support : "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager." Customer : I don't have a P. Tech support : On your keyboard, Bob. Customer : What do you mean? Tech support : "P".....on your keyboard, Bob. Customer : I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!
